conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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