my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And then my night got REAL pukey
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
