fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
