Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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