oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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