I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
