I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
