You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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