The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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