oh god the rape fog is back!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
