I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
