You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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