pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
