she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
