Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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