At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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