So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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