I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
