I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I believe in your delicious
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
