I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
