A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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