I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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