Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
