also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
