TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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