apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
