New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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