he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
