im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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