Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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