ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
