I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
