in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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