So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
