how can u be prego again
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
