How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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