Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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