Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
