dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
