No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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