Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
