HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
do herpes really smell.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
