I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
