My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
