he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
