Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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