we're blogging at a bar
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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