im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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