so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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