In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
