hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
