So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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