We won't sleep together?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
