Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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