Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
